i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
