i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
