Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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