Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
