I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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