so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
