I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
