My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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