best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
This house was built for laser tag.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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