i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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