When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
