I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
