Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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