The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i believe in u and ur pee
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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