Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
