i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
