Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish i was in the wii world.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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