i used baking grease as lip gloss
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
