how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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