Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
