someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
