I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
