If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
