i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
