Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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