Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
