Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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