I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
