How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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