Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
