I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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