i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
