Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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