Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I need to sanitize my soul.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
