guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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