? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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