if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
