i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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