do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
