the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
