Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
