I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
