So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
