i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
