im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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