its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
