Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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