if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
