I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
im calling her cock vulture from now on
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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