If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
